Dance Pants

We love music in this house. We sing almost everything from “where’s the milk” to “time for bed.”

It is perfectly delightful.

And at some point on almost every day we blast the techno. DJ Tiesto is a household name–Weasley even asks for it. Wiggles shakes her booty in a flurry of smiles and giggles and flailing limbs. In my eyes, nothing is more wonderful.

I was a dancer until I had children, my husband and I met ice skating and we love to go dancing on our nights out. Movement and music is part of us. And as such, it is part of our children.

In the parenting trend of Baby Einstein and The Mozart Effect, I diverge.

I spent Weasley’s babyhood immersing him in classical music and exposing him to every composer that would supposedly boost his intelligence. And you know what? Baby Einstein taught him how to sit in front of the TV and listening to Mozart pretty much bored him (except for Mozart’s Rondo Alla Turca–that made him dance his funny little toddler pants off).

As a music major in college, I was convinced that classical music truly had the ability to “organize one’s brain.” But what I came to learn as a parent is that is just doesn’t matter. I honestly don’t have any control over my children’s intelligence level. And why would I want to control it anyway? We live in a society so full of messages that your kids don’t fit in a particular box. They move too much, they talk too much, they read too late, they walk too soon… It’s never just “your child is so good at who they are.”

Now, I am not saying I don’t have an appreciation for classical music. I spent my entire childhood dancing ballet to classical composers and went on to study music in college. I have a great amount of classical music education under my belt but I really feel that kids need a variety of music in their education.

Something that made me realize classical music isn’t the only thing your child should listen to is Kindermusik. I got my Kindermusik teaching license when Weasley was still a toddler. And I was shocked when I realized there were very few classical music pieces in the Kindermusik lessons. In fact, most of their music depended on what age the child was and how to get them interacting. Music + movement! This got me thinking. It doesn’t matter what music the kids are listening to as long it makes them move and smile.

For us, that’s techno.

And let me tell you, the kids love it!

He’s A Big Kid Now

My Weasley is growing up. I just had a glimpse of him being his own person and living his own life–discovering and experiencing things as only he will.

He was playing outside in the spring sunshine and came running into the house whispering,

“Mom! I have a surprise!”

There was a sweetness and gentleness in his tone that made me completely attentive. The first thing that ran through my mind?

“Oh no, this is it, he has found some sort of wild pet and he is bringing it in the house.”

It was just something in his tone. It sounded very caring and tender. Next thought I had was

“Is it a mouse? A bird? A rabbit??”

He walked gently around the corner with his hands cupped together.

“Ok brace yourself,” I thought.

“Look mom! I found a caterpillar!!”

“Whew. Ok. Oh how cool, honey!”

I don’t know why I was so terrified of what he was delivering to me but the thought of a mouse or bird getting loose in the house was, well, ew. Then I realized that it was inevitable. He is finally a big kid–and a boy none the less. Creatures will find their way into my house. And that’s ok. When I was a six, I would bring newts and snakes into my mom’s house. (Maybe that’s why I was nervous!)

But what I really realized in the whole scene was that he is living his own life. He is discovering his own experiences with the world. I am not guiding him like I used to. Things like caterpillars weren’t a surprise before because I was there. I was guiding him in his play. We’d discover things like that together. In a way I miss it. I miss searching for ants and caterpillars and seeing the look on his face when we found one. But I am so thankful for having those moments with him. And I am thankful for him experiencing them on his own and for him growing up and having his own experiences. And I am thankful for him still wanting to share them with me.

I love being a mom!

Keep It Real!

After taking the Mom Pledge I started thinking about all the things I have not posted on my blog–all the things about my parenting habits that I’m afraid to share with other mom’s. My honesty is held back for fear of being criticized. Last thing I need is to feel bullied when my goal in life is to be happy, right? Not if it means denying myself.

For me it’s time to start being me.

No pretending.

After all, isn’t pretending just a way of making other mom’s feel bad about themselves? I have no desire to “show anyone up.” But I do have a desire to be me. To be real. Because being yourself is so darn good!

So as part of my commitment to not giving a voice to mom bullies and to keep it real here on my own blog, I’m going to dedicate myself to, well, being me. I have nothing to hide and I’m proud of my kids, proud of my husband and honestly, I am proud of myself for how I care for and raise my absolutely wonderful and fantabulous family! So prepare yourself for a few posts about how I raise my kids in ways that some just might not approve of….

It could be shocking!

Simplification Tactics

Last week I tackled the kids toys. It was a bit overwhelming to start but once I got into it, it was easy. I threw out everything that wasn’t a matching set, was out of batteries, (I hate battery operated toys), broken, or anything that just wasn’t played with in the last few months (that took care of a lot of it). But in my very impatient opinion it took too much time to accomplish. So when I moved onto sorting kids books, I took on a new tactic.

We had lots of books that were never touched and I’ve often wondered if we should keep them for some unknown reason. So I pulled all the books off the bookshelf and stared at them all for a few minutes completely overwhelmed (and slightly buried) before I began sorting them into “keep, maybe keep, look at them again, get rid of, and torn.” Yeah, lots of piles and I was incredibly overwhelmed. That’s when I decided to only put the “definitely keep” books back on the shelf. When I looked at the rest of the piles, it was easy to just put them all in the “get rid of” box.

The shelf looked clean and simple and meaningful. I didn’t want to add anything else to it. So my new simplification tactic is to pull out all our “definitely keep” items from amongst the clutter and just give everything else to goodwill.

There is no reason to sort.

Just pull out what is necessary and discard the rest. It is much faster and takes less brainpower. Thankfully I am easily distracted so once something is in the goodwill box, I can’t remember what it is! (I never needed it anyway, right?) Simplifying this way eliminates the “what if I need this someday” question. That question is usually my downfall in simplifying.

I am very excited to experiment with this tactic throughout the rest of the house. Today I am tackling linens and possibly clothes. My next step will be to purchase some clear boxes and make sure everything has a place. Using the boxes will also make moving easier since everything will be pre-packed. And the kids will have a difficult time opening the boxes so I will always know when something is being played with–no more surprise messes.

I am so excited to simplify.

Hopefully by the end of Lent, the house will be completely decluttered just in time for spring and outdoor fun!

The Mom Pledge

I am so excited to take the Mom Pledge and be a part of such an encouraging blogging community!

Raising kids is hard–especially if you are told you aren’t doing it right. Every child is different. Every parent will do things differently.
And there is no one person on this earth that knows how to raise another human being perfectly.

Discouragement is the worst thing a mother can experience. As a parent there have been many times when I have been told my parenting was insufficient. And it brought me down. Way down.

My desire is to love my children. If I teach my children nothing else I want them to know joy. And Love. I hope to give them a foundation for a happy life. Everything else is fleeting in my opinion.

If your child doesn’t have all their immunizations, if they don’t potty train by two, if they don’t learn to ready by five, if they throw a tantrum in the grocery store, it just doesn’t matter–it is a fleeting moment in time. None of that matters and I don’t want to know any one person’s opinion on why or why my child should or should not have or do a certain thing.

There is no magical formulation to raising a human. It is complicated. And personal. And difficult. And beautiful. And emotional. And amazing. There is no point in telling a mother they are wrong in how they raise their kids.

I have no desire to feel more knowledgeable or powerful than another mother. I want to be a part of a community of mothers that love their children and encourage each other. I hold no parenting answers. I will accept advice when it is solicited. I will admire the knowledge that another mother has learned over the years. But I will accept no hostile comments toward my motherhood. I love my kids. And I will do everything in my power to show them that and to raise them to be happy human beings. But in order to teach them happiness I need to be happy. Happy with myself and happy with my kids.

And I know I make mistakes.

And most likely I will know it when I do make a mistake. Telling me I am not a “good” mother for whatever reason will only make my life dark. I choose to ignore the hostile comments and focus on the love I have for my children.

I am new to the blogging world and I love it! But everything I say in my blog is my opinion and it is about things that work for my family. In no way do I expect what I say or do to work perfectly for another mother. But I do hope to share a laugh or encourage another mother. And I hope I gain encouragement from other mom bloggers. There is no reason to share hate or hostility.

I long for a community of women who listen, discuss and encourage each other. We are all humans raising humans and I love and respect the challenge and joy that comes with that.

And to all you mothers, you are doing a great job!

Saint Louis

Last week we took a family trip to Saint Louis. I spent my teen years there and it was like going home. Went to my best friend’s wedding, got to see old friends and childhood haunts. It was a great time. Here are some pictures I took of the Arch. It was fun seeing my kids enjoy places I did as a kid.

Looking straight down from inside the top of the arch

Tug boats are awesome!

That’s a lot of stairs!

At the top!

Bridge over the Mississippi River

Saint Louis has a lot of really amazing old buildings that are abandoned. Fun photo ops for sure.

Do It Now

Since pulling my child out of school, I have put off many activities that both he and I would find fun and entertaining.

There is always something else to do. (Mostly something boring.)

If I have a super radical craft that I want to do with him, then I have to clean the whole kitchen (which usually turns into cleaning the whole house) in order to have the “perfect” workspace.

Of course, that means that a few hours later, when I have the “perfect” workspace, I don’t have time to do the craft. It’s dinner time, it’s bed time, it’s some-time-other-than-lets-have-fun-time.

And that is just wrong.

Do things when you think of it and life will be so much better. No time is more perfect than now.

Now is all you have. This moment. This is it. What you do with this moment is all that matters. Just do it. Do it now!

About Taking That Plunge!

So remember how my last blog post was back in March? And remember how it was all about taking a plunge and doing something entirely different? Yup well, right after I wrote that with all its fantastical ideas, we became stagnate. We became routine bored suburbanites. Depression, constancy, stability, and money all took over our lives. Not to mention fear being the worst of it all. Fear of change, fear of unknown, fear of taking chances, fear of hunger or illness.

“Fear is the mind-killer.” Frank Herbert, Dune..

My mind was rapidly dying. The depression was getting so deep that my husband and I saw no way out. We were officially trapped in our suburbanite lifestyle. My husband’s job was not what he thought it would be and was becoming more corporate in nature. My life was trapped in caring for children and housecleaning and I was beginning to resent both. There had to be more (or less) than this lifestyle. But every time we thought of escape the looming fear won. There was no way we could give up a nice steady income, a stable way of living for the unknown. That would just be stupid, right? … Or would it?… Read the rest of that quote:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
— Frank Herbert, Dune – Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear

“Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.” Well, death is the greatest thing to fear right? So if fear brings death then to fear is to basically bring death upon yourself slowly and miserably right? That’s what I am learning now. If you aren’t living a life of happiness and joy then something is wrong. We knew something was wrong we just had to step to the edge of the cliff–that great chasm of fear. We had to stare down its dark and endless pit. It took us a few weeks and then we jumped. My husband quit his job. Together we are seeking out an untraditional lifestyle.

When we got married, we had many discussions of our love and need for adventure and a fearless lifestyle. Taking each challenge and blessing as it comes. Our stagnation was not who we were or who are together. We had actually fallen into a trap that we are now making our way out of. My husband wants to telecommute, I want to work doing things like selling on my etsy shop or substitute teaching, or getting back into music instruction. We want to possibly switch off the kids while the other works so that we can be together and raise the kids as a family. Having one parent always working is not our idea of parenting. Some people say that the man has to go to work and the woman has to raise the kids–this is often the way it is. But we are a family–there has to be a way to raise the kids in a home where they know both of their parents. We are seeking this alternative out.

So here we are. For the time being we are jobless and that’s ok. We are floating through the unknown but are happy again to not feel trapped. This step is probably going to be the most vital thing we have done in our young married lives and it will build a foundation for happiness and freedom in future years. We will no longer inch up to that cliff and walk away and walk back and stare in its dark unknown with fear holding us back. Instead we will walk up to it with more wisdom and fearlessness and continue down the path we set out on together in the first place. We may end up in some rural country or live on the beach telecommuting in the future. It doesn’t matter. What matters is we took control over our lives and are forging our own path. Bushwhacking our way through life if you will.

Today we went hiking/bouldering with the kids. We climbed steep hillsides over large rocks and scrambled up loose ground and forded a river. As a mother following my family from behind, there were moments where I looked at my children and my husband and the steep looming danger we were attempting to cross and thought of future disaster. My husband led us up mountainsides where if you look at the whole scene it is daunting. Too steep, too loose, too high, too unknown. But once you started out on the path it wasn’t scary at all. Each step had its own moment. Looking at the direct path made it so you were focused on that one step and not the big picture.

Looking at the future is as daunting as looking at a mountainside you are about to climb. If you keep looking ahead you will miss a step and potentially fall. If you look at the future or the whole mountain, you are not only discouraged by the height but you are sure you know where the path will take you and you might miss that next vital step.

Looking at the path, at where you will put your next foot, is secure and you know everything about that foothold. If you slip then you will know the best place to grab hold and pull yourself back up.

We are now following the path we want to be on–one step at a time. We are together in this moment and that is all that matters. Every once in a while we will look up at the peak but how we get there is what matters–which step we choose next is what counts.

Where we are right now matters–its all we have.

Right now we have each other–there is no greater gift than that. We are blessed beyond measure. We have two wonderful children and hope for more. We live at the top of a mountain with beauty in every direction. We have happiness and laughter. We have hope and most importantly we have faith. We have happiness at every turn if we keep focused on what matters.

Most likely we will make ends meet but if we don’t then that is a step we take further up the path. We will live in simplicity, in peace, in the excitement of the unknown.

So for the next few months this blog will be dedicated to our penny pinching, happy lives. I’ll be organizing and simplifying our house and possessions, I’ll be meal planning in order to grocery shop for less, I’ll be sewing and working on projects and I’ll share it all here along with my crazy endless random thoughts that will of course pop up from time to time.

Take the Plunge

We live in a world of fear and “I can’t.” We live in a “free world of oppression.”

There are so many things that people think are not “okay” or not “safe.”

For instance, with my son, my husband and I made a mistake.  We put him in the wrong school and he is not happy so we are going to remedy that.  I am going to homeschool him.  I’m pulling him out today.  Some people ask

“You can do that?”  Heck yes!  Of course I can!  He is my son–not the school’s, not the state’s, not the goverment’s.  Of course there are “regulations” but big deal my child’s education and happiness come first–I’ll do what I have to in order to improve that for him.

You’ve got to just take the pludge.  Not fear the outcome.  I’ll say it again–do not live in fear of possible outcomes!  You have NO idea what the future will  bring so don’t fear what you don’t know.

My husband and I both have an adventurous spirit.  We want to travel and live in different places.  Most would give that up for their children.  We almost did. But why? Why can’t your kids live out your dreams with you?  Our children are going to have a beautiful view of the world only because they are going to see us taking chances, not living oppressed lives of fear.  Not settling down into the corporate culture wishing our lives were different.  Our lives ARE going to be different and so are our kid’s.  And its going to be GREAT!  They may complain some day that they don’t have a “traditional” life but we aren’t a “traditional” family.

See, getting married and having kids doesn’t mean you are “settled down”

into a life of family rearing and you have put off dreams and goals.  It only means you have more people to share your passion for life and dreams with.

All you have to say is “I can” and “I will.”

We live on a small farm.  For 2 years I want to raise chickens and goats and ride my horse and have my kids play with their best friend– the dog.  When our 2 years are up here I want to travel to a different country and different culture and different climate. Then after a year or two  I want to switch it up again.  The only way that is going to happen is if we DO it.  If we set up the timeline, the goal, the savings etc. and DO it.

Don’t say “I wish” say “I will!”

Get inspired, live your dream.

Don’t just make it a long lost dream–make it reality.

Don’t get stuck in everyday life, make everyday life lead to something exciting!

It IS possible!  Just say I CAN do that!  And DO it!

Brands

The other day my husband brought up the topic of branding.  Some people  think we ought to do away with the brand.  You know, instead of Nike sneakers we just have sneakers.  This got me thinking.  Why are brands important?  And what makes one brand better than another?

I am a generic shopper most of the time.  I go to King Soopers and buy generic food.  But it isn’t just generic food–it is the Kroger BRAND.  And there are always things that I buy which cost more but due to the brand that produces it, it is worth the extra cash. (Right now I am thinking about Ghirardelli brownie mixes–yum!)  When I shop for clothes I tend to go to Ross and shop the lesser known brands.  BUT if I want a good pair of running shoes I am going to buy Nike, Reebok,  or New Balance.  Why?  Because they are good brands–they specialize in running shoes and athletic gear.  They have worked years to become the best and they deserve to put their brand on their product and say “yes, we produced this fine product.”  They may be expensive but they also deserve to get reimbursed for their years and years of work to become the top brand in their line of work.

Now I’m not saying I would dress my kids in Calvin Klein and myself in Tommy clothes just so we look important or  fancy.  I don’t think the brand makes the person but I do think the brand determines the quality.

When you talk about doing away with branding, you are talking about making all products equal, all companies equal and in essence all people equal.  Sounds pretty communistic to me, how about you?  Now what really caught my interest on this topic are some little rag rugs we have in our bathrooms they have this large tag (sticking out tastelessly because I haven’t cut it off yet) that reads REstyle–a Target brand.  But I have owned rag rugs in the past that did not come with a tag–well in a way they did.  They were hand made by some little German lady that sold them at a open air market in Europe.  Now that was the biggest brand anyone could put on a product–a face and a personal touch.  When you look at something someone handmade you don’t need to see a brand because you picture their face.  It is personal.  And the object itself becomes personal.

But not much is handmade these days.  In fact, unless you get a knitted baby gift, nothing is really handmade anymore.  But the brand on a product is like seeing the creator of the product.  It says that this company’s designers designed this, this company’s marketing team marketed this, this company’s factory workers made  this.  It does in a way make it personal.  There are people behind the brand.

Now how would people feel if nothing had a brand?  We would walk into a huge brandless warehouse to find brandless products and walk out with what we need.  I believe it would lessen the value of everything in that building.  Why should you value something that has not connection to a person?  Of course this sort of event would also most likely entail the government setting up the brandless warehouses to send their “equal” people to shop… See? It isn’t possible without a communistic society.  Point made.  Despite how some people despise paying for brand names it is vital to our individualistic society.  Pay for that brand once in a while–the company worked long and hard to become one of the best.